Glaciate
by Alley Cat Sunflower
Summary: Warning: Player characters renamed. / Amanda [Rosa] helps N and Tamara [Hilda] meet again after two years of separation, but regrets it immediately as she realizes N has eyes for only one… and she's not the one. Very bittersweet. T for intensity, I guess. I do not own Pokémon or the cover art!


The sun sank lower in the sky, throwing a cool orange glow on the snow laying thinly on the ground, as Champion Amanda and N—the unusually mature and serious teenager she wished she didn't feel so strongly for—approached the Ferris Wheel. Her cousin Tamara's note to her, written in response to a letter detailing all Amanda's various encounters with N, was infuriatingly short. In fact, it said only that she was coming home and to meet her at six o'clock in the evening in front of the Ferris Wheel—and, it added, Amanda should conceal Tamara's involvement.

_That_ part hadn't been so difficult. N liked riding Ferris Wheels on any occasion, after all. It had been much harder, however, to think of what Tamara intended to do with N once they met. Her motives for leaving Unova, almost exactly a year after Ghetsis's arrest, were hidden—and Amanda began to suspect more and more, judging from Tamara's reluctance to tell her (even through letters) about her own encounters with the king of Team Plasma, that she had been searching for _him_ the whole time. _But why? To bring him to justice? _Amanda, fiercely protective of N despite the short time she had known him, refused to believe her cousin could be so unobservant as to think he hadn't changed at all from when he had been king.

Amanda halted, realizing that N had stopped, and glanced up at the tall youth beside her. His green hair stirred under his baseball cap as an icy breeze fluttered by, but he didn't so much as shiver: his bright, steel-gray eyes were focused intently on a figure facing them in the distance. _Tamara_. She approached as quickly as they were, usually bare arms now covered by a denim jacket; N stretched out an arm before letting it fall limply to his side as they both obeyed some hidden impulse and came to a stop several feet away from one another.

Amanda stepped back respectfully, realizing for the first time her too-close proximity to N, and observed for a moment the indescribable, barely contained energy between him and Tamara, crackling like fire or perhaps lightning. Both sets of eyes were wide with shock, laced with clumsily hidden relief, but N's contained a quiet elation that Tamara's lacked. Her eyes, the same color as the ocean, were almost as gelid as the winter around them, but the expression seemed almost like a forced formality than a genuine feeling: the coldness melted into grief at the edges.

Tamara inhaled sharply, perhaps about to say something, before abandoning whatever words might have been in her throat and letting out a sigh which hovered visibly in the frigid air. Tearing her gaze away from N's with an obvious effort, Tamara stared down glassily at the snow beneath her feet and breathed, "I waited for you."

Lightning seemed to strike Amanda as her cousin's words floated towards them: _were they going out or something? _Flames danced furiously in her eyes, and Amanda half-thought that looking at the snow for too long would melt it before she forced herself to cool down again and not jump to any conclusions.

"I know," murmured N, still looking at Tamara so intensely Amanda thought he meant to commit every detail of her appearance to memory. "I'm sorry," he added, a bit more audibly, and Amanda thought she saw the corner of Tamara's mouth twitch in what could easily have been either a smile or a grimace.

Jerking her eyes back up, Tamara blinked spasmodically—_are those tears? _wondered Amanda, more and more perplexed; she was proven right as a drop streaked down her cousin's cheek. "I never thought I'd say completely honestly that I'm glad to see you," she said, almost laughing, and Amanda sighed lightly in relief. _Good. They weren't dating or anything. _Immediately after her initial joy, though, guilt crashed down on her as she recognized the selfishness of her (in all likelihood unreciprocated) feelings for N, and did her best to push her irrational jealousy out of the way.

"I can't say the same for myself," smiled N, and the brilliance of his smile shone on Tamara with an exuberant light: Amanda saw, though, that he was trembling—she suspected not due to the cold, but rather because of raw emotion. He seemed about to say something else when Tamara sniffled (bowing her head as though ashamed of crying in front of him).

As N moved infinitessimally closer to Tamara, literally wavering between hanging back and stepping forward, Tamara glanced up again, another tear making its way down her cheek and dripping into the snow, and he stilled immediately after that single, tiny step: there was something like fury in her gaze, but it was too gentle to be pure anger. Amanda's heartbeat quickened with unwanted realizations, but she no more had the power to interfere than she had the power to move mountains all by herself: to N and Tamara, nothing existed but each other, and the gradually disappearing space between them.

"Are you all right?" asked N, enough affectionate concern radiating from his eyes that Amanda enviously half-thought Tamara would no longer have need of her jacket for warmth."Can I do anyth—"

"You d-didn't come back!" interrupted Tamara, startling N enough that he backed away a step, throwing an arm up before him as though to physically defend himself. "Reshiram and I were _w-worried _about you! How could you be so—how could you—" She broke off, glaring defiantly into N's eyes, refusing to give in completely to her tears. _She's a born fighter._

N closed his eyes and exhaled deeply; the lingering sigh, full of soft wistfulness, seemed to echo sibilantly in the otherwise silent winter air. "I'm sorry," he whispered, quietly enough that Amanda had to shuffle forward as noiselessly as possible to hear—doing her best not to break the dreamlike state that had settled on N and Tamara almost like a frost. "You know I had to leave. I couldn't bear to stay in the region where I had been hurt so badly." He pursed his lips as though debating falling silent, before shaking his head agitatedly a moment later and continuing, "But Unova was the place where I met _you_. I only realized, after traveling the world for about a year… that I'd never been as happy as I had been _here_, because you…"

He trailed off, face noticeably reddening (as he fidgeted with one of his bracelets), and Tamara's cheeks flushed at his words as well. Amanda stared between her cousin and her crush, recognizing more and more the symptoms she had been dreading. She settled despairingly on clinging to the faintly glimmering hope that Tamara would respect her feelings for N—of which she had been informed via mail—but even that practically nonexistent light was fading fast. _Please tell me this isn't happening!_

"You sh-should have told me you were all right," mumbled Tamara, tears seemingly subsiding as she drew a somewhat shaky breath. "Your goodbye was almost like… you weren't planning on coming back again. Ever." She closed her eyes momentarily before looking up into N's eyes again: Amanda resented the tenderness flickering between them. "I—I took it on faith you'd return someday. After all, it wouldn't be like you to just… disappear, forever."

N opened his mouth, frowning—perhaps to contradict her—but Tamara raised her voice slightly, indicating that no response was required; her voice gained strength as she spoke. "When you didn't come back, I thought you might be in trouble. I was responsible for destroying your entire world… I wondered if you were doing okay—if anything had changed. You showed me you were capable of accepting different ideas, but then you left, and I didn't know for sure if you'd gone back to your old ways."

Tamara smiled sadly; there was almost a pleading aspect to her gaze, as though begging forgiveness: N's expression, one of gentle warmth, granted it instantly. Amanda leaned closer involuntarily: this was more about her greatest victory than she had ever been told before. Earlier, Tamara had kept her story brief, saying only that she had defeated Team Plasma's king, the name of whom she had let slip was N. When Amanda had eagerly pressed for details at Tamara's seventeenth birthday party—shortly before her cousin had left on her expedition—Tamara had contemptuously responded that none of the rest of Team Plasma was really worth a mention, then departed hastily to talk to some of her other friends. The only other information Amanda had received had been from N himself.

"Awhile after I brought the other six Sages to justice, I embarked on a journey of my own," Tamara was saying, as she glanced downwards briefly—as though disheartened—before meeting N's curious and somehow thirsty eyes again with renewed determination. "I… I tried to release Reshiram, since I thought I was a failure instead of a hero after staying in one place just waiting for you… but she wouldn't leave me. I _think_ she said that she would stay until I found what I was looking for." Tamara gave a somewhat watery grin at the memory, and the same smile tugged at N's mouth.

A long silence followed her words, during which the lengthening shadows began fading into the growing darkness, before Tamara hesitantly added, a shy yet somehow luminous smile visible: "I think it's been said that Reshiram appears before a Trainer seeking truth, but I… I was searching for you." There was one more minuscule, tense pause before she finished, "I think that means… _you_ are my truth, N Harmonia."

Amanda's jaw dropped with indignant jealousy for a moment before she carefully rearranged her expression into one of shock, on the off chance that either one of them would notice her at that moment. _I knew it! _she moaned inwardly, studying N's reaction with dismay: how pleased his expression was, with undiluted sweetness shimmering in his eyes! He finally, tentatively, closed the gap between himself and Tamara with a single, deliberate step, standing directly before her in radiant, triumphant glory… an aura worthy of the king he was.

"And you are my ideal," sighed N contentedly, a wide smile spreading across his face; Amanda's eyes stung, and she looked away, unable to bear the truth she had initially suspected. "I only realized it around a year ago. Till then, I had just been exploring, redefining my universe—not looking for anything specific… but when Zekrom told me to think about who really helped me most along my journey…"

Another silence ensued, this one crueler than the last, during which Amanda stared emptily at the chilly sky, rather than look at the warmth dancing between her cousin and her crush. Stars were beginning to emerge, twinkling coldly down at the scene below them. _It isn't fair. _Amanda could neither allow the moments to unfold as they were, nor could she bear to break either N or Tamara away from their clear fascination with one another. Leaving was equally disquieting; she would find no solace in solitude, knowing that these two would still have each other. _Better act as third wheel awhile longer, then._

"Thank you, Amanda," said N suddenly, shattering the frosty silence, and a jolt ran through her heart as she realized he was speaking to her: she had been invisible to the two of them for so long, she was surprised either of them even remembered her existence. "You've done a lot for me, too. You showed me that everyone is capable of being a hero, if they're as determined as _you_ can be." He flashed her a brief grin, shining in the dusk, and the corner of Amanda's mouth tugged upwards automatically, but it was more a hollow reflex than a genuine expression of her feelings. _He really is oblivious._

Tamara nodded her agreement, but her eyes were distant, as though she were still in shock at N's real and true presence. Amanda stepped backwards, aware that the spell had been broken with her inclusion, and turned away as graciously as possible, walking in the opposite direction and dreading the undeniable truth. _They love each other. Even if they don't realize it fully now, they will soon, and I'm alone. _Forcing herself to think positively, she added grudgingly, _They do deserve each other, though, _but the tiny voice that had said it choked and fell silent a moment later rather than say, even internally, that it wished her cousin well.

Amanda helplessly pretended she didn't see Tamara lunge for N as surely as if she meant to harm him, only to clutch him around the middle instead as though dubious that he was solid; and she made as if she didn't see N reach for Tamara's hand after she let go of him; and she ignored their childlike rush to get on the Ferris wheel… but she didn't need to _act_ as if she were blind after they disappeared into the gondola, as tears blurred her vision suddenly, and she found that could truly no longer see.

**((That was a bit darker than anticipated, but hey, when you're dealing with a jealous narrator, it does come off that way. Sorry about that, and thanks for reading!))**


End file.
